Mee Siam Mai Hum

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I've been brooding really bad over our loss.

I still think we ought to have won. I'm really sore and all...

Never lost as a team before.

Feel terribly bad about misunderstanding the motion and dragging the team down with me.

As Max puts it, "Today, Team Hwa Chong lost, not Ng Li Ki."

Precisely why I feel bad.

Pfft was a terrible terrible experience.

I still think we should have won.

Not the White Women... NONONONONONO

Screwed.

Bio's tomorrow, and I'm feeling unwell. Trying to mug the stupid notes, to no avail...

I'll just have to see how I do tomorrow.

39's an A1. Just need to achieve that... sigh.

Everything just avalanched on me. Reality, Liki.

Away from the fairyland of debate, back to reality.

I mean I wouldn't mind an MSG of 4 if we could have won the RJCs. I mean it.

Now imminent are the problems of IRS, bio, homework, CIP, ACE, MSG and all.

I must admit I'm pretty liberated from some of these stresses. But purleez for every one I have I have more to combat. The worst's my own perfectionism.

UGH LIFE'S A SICK CYCLE. A carousel of doom, thats what it is.

I'd been in a trance all day. Lack of sleep. My dad says I'm gonna die young if I don't sleep earlier. I can't squeeze all my stuff! Particularly MSN and blogging. BUT THEY'RE ALL THAT SUSTAIN. I'd probably be dead without them.

IRS's resting on me. Its really mammoth and 4 times the work is expected of a 4 man team than a one man show. Muk refuses to talk to the patients unless I go.

I've totally lost all chronological sense. The shock of losing the debate is too great. I'm thinking today's wednesday, that Chinese' lasting 4 hours, etc. etc. Really been blur.

I need rest, yet I still have a million things on my agenda.

One confirmed error for math, a five mark question. -96 instead of -91. I missed the right answer by 0.0005. Scarcely significant, but thats math for you. Too picky for me.

I hate math and sci.

If you people think I'm being a whiny ol' bastard try being me lol.... IM SEC 1 LA.

Booo....

Oh well I want to complain real bad. But its no use.

Im sleep deprived. I didn't sleep well at all last night. And I couldn't sleep at all. The loss, I keep brooding over it.

I forgave Jiahan for dao-ing me.

My thoughts are totally random, not even chrono now because I lost all sense of time.

During Chinese we did corrections for 36/45. Was amazed at myself, didn't think I could do so well. If I had written less it'd have been 41/45 lol. I was like scrawling on my paper. When I realised I had dozed off I checked my paper. In between the lines were words like...

"Tongue."
"Dementor"
"Debate"
"MGS"
"Losing"

The subconscious. And my Chinese words were off the line. I couldn't pay attention, not at all. A wasted lesson, not that I'm ever going to look through the comprehensions.

I'm taking this too seriously I think. I keep telling myself its not the end.

I fail as a debater. I can't convince myself.

I'm typing all wrong too. I've spent around 1 hour plus on this post already. I keep trying to reedit and reorganise my thoughts, to no avail.

Losing's a new sensation.

The only thing I can do right now is MSN, because its a distraction from the painful truth.

And the horrors that await me.

I'm going to be so darn busy during June.

Can't even remember the thirtieth power of two now.

2L @ 8:45 PM
"Sorry also must exprain"
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Hello Uncle...Bah Chor Mee one. I want chilli plus tur Kwa plus can I watch your CCTV playback of Jeff Lopez...=D